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Elise’s Blog
Feb 18, 2026
Episode 1: Introductions and Expectations
Episode 1: Introductions and Expectations
00:00
51:04
Transcript
0:01
Hello. [laughs] Hello This is the podcast. [laughs] A, a, a well thought out and carefully curated intro here. Oh, yeah. Um, the kind of high production value you expect from, um,
0:18
two people of, you know, kind of questionable executive function on, on any given day. I would take offense, but I, I will admit you're not wrong. [laughs] Sorry, I did feel bad saying it.
0:31
[laughs] But like it's- I, you, you threw, you threw me overboard, but you threw yourself as well, so I, I can't be too mad. I'm not really good at throwing, so that's usually what happens.
0:41
[laughs] Um, yeah, okay, do you wanna introduce or what are we doing here? [laughs] Okay, so we have talked for
0:50
I think you said two and a half years now at this point about doing some sort of Bills based podcast, because we are both Bills fans, and neither of us are from Buffalo, which- That's correct... I, is, um,
1:03
a uniquely cursed experience, I think. Uh, I am from-- my name is Joey Langdon. I am from South Ontario originally. And I was, I was born a-- I was-- I am biologically a Bears fan, um- Ooh...
1:18
because my uncle lived in Chicago at the time. My dad is a Raiders fan.
1:23
Um, but the Bills started playing games in Toronto, so I became a, I became a Bills fan because they're there, which is very funny because every other Bills fan hates th- hates that little experiment. I was gonna say.
1:35
But it ma- it made one fan, which was me. And, you know, that, that was really all worth it in the end. Exactly. Um- The SkyDome is the, is the greatest place to play sports in the world, and the Bills played there.
1:50
Were those the- And so did Western Michigan. Were those the Bon Jovi was gonna buy the Bills years, or was that the Donald Trump is gonna buy the Bills years? That was the Bon Jovi's. Or was it both? That was Bon Jovi.
2:00
Okay. Um, and that's why Bon Jovi- And I am gonna interject with like a-... is still ban-banned from Buffalo. Good. Um, they are equally bad people in my mind. Yeah.
2:10
Um, which is to say like, you know, both some of the, the worst people that exist. But, uh, God, Bon Jovi's music is so fucking bad. [laughs] This is like [laughs] actually one of, one of my like grand standing points.
2:24
I t- I hate him. I don't know what it is. Um, where does he even have the money to-- whatever. Not important. Um, uh, I have to introduce myself now. I'm still bad at this. Um, hi, my name's Elise.
2:39
Um, I am also a Bills fan. I'm from, like, [sighs] New York City, so you could technically say, you know, New York- Home state team... sports fan. Yeah.
2:49
Um, which is like the joke justification I gave at one point, and then my dad actually thinks it's true, and I'm like, "All right, well." Um,
2:57
so but I grew up in like New England, but like far enough that it's not really like Patriots territory. Um, and also it's like they're the Patriots, and they're just kind of bad by definition.
3:09
Um, so really the people around me were like mostly Giants or Jets fans, and I'm like, "I don't wanna do this to myself. There's like no reason to."
3:17
Um, and so at some point I just made the conscious decision of like, "I'm just gonna pick another team," and that was somewhere around like the Kyle Orton year. [laughs] Um, so it's really only gotten better from there.
3:32
Yeah. Uh, well, let's just j- so you're based out of Texas now currently, correct? Yeah. You know, I would say against my will, but I still like, you know, chose to come here, so.
3:43
And I'm in, uh, northwestern Ontario, so between us we are both, uh, extremely far from the, from the homeland at this point. Yes.
3:54
And also ne- both of us are hockey fans, and neither of us are Sabres fans, so [laughs]... No. That, that has also put us in a unique position within Bills fandom. Yeah. Um,
4:06
well, yeah, 'cause again, like neither of us having any ac- like I guess actual ties to the city. Mm-hmm. Like my mom's from upstate New York, but it's from, she's from, um, like kind of Albany area, which- Mm-hmm.
4:18
That's not-- Is that upstate New York I gue- I guess it's upstate New York, but not western New York.
4:22
It's upstate New York by the d- by the definition of anything north of like Yonkers is upstate, and which I do subscribe to. Um, but yeah, I, I guess like kinda typologically different.
4:34
Um, and then my dad's from Long Island, so he's like nominally a Jets fan, but he's like the most well-adjusted Jets fan in terms of football fandom that I know of, because he's like, "Oh, this just doesn't matter."
4:48
[laughs] Like a- and not even like i- in like a, like fatalist like I'm depressed way, of just like, "No, why would I get invested?" He doesn't, he doesn't- So he'll, he'll call me every now and again.
4:58
He doesn't have the, the gene, the, the, the disorder that we have that makes us wanna kill ourselves whenever the Bills only win by seven. Okay, yeah.
5:11
I, I was gonna say, one of us is gonna drop the first like, "I'm gonna kill myself" [laughs] of the episode. Get it out of the way early. [laughs] Um- I mean, if we're, if this is gonna-- this is episode one.
5:21
If this is gonna become a thing, w- it is going to become our catchphrase, so might as well get it out of the way early.
5:28
Of the many things that I just kind of like walk around my apartment just like mentally doing like vocal stems of, that Family Feud clip is one of them. [laughs] Gonna kill myself. [laughs] Oh, God.
5:42
Um, no, but he'll call me every now and again like, uh, you know, "I got bad news." I'm like, "Oh, what happened?" He's like, "Oh, you know, the Jets lost." I'm like, "That's tough."
5:52
He's like, "Yeah, I don't really care." [laughs] He also does this when Star Wars is on TV- He-... and then he'll call me and be like- He-- That's your personal speed bump?... "What's gonna happen?
6:02
Like is, are they gonna, are, are they gonna blow up the Death Star?" And I'm likePay you five bucks Yeah. And I'm like, "Goddammit, Dave."
6:14
[laughs] For how, for how unfunny he is, I can't not laugh, and that, like, really makes it worse. It's, it's a bit that I think is unfortunately funnier every single time it happens. Yes.
6:27
Because really my reaction of like, "I fucking hate you. I don't wanna do-- Please don't make me listen to this," like, makes him start, like, like literally, like, slapping his knee, like- Mm-hmm...
6:37
you know, doing these, like, doing basically the, the, like, Gator chomp to his knee- [laughs]... with his arm.
6:45
Um, w- w- just a long form way of saying, um, yeah, I don't know, we both, like, happened up- on the Bills by accident, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I'm probably more well-adjusted about it than you.
6:59
[laughs] Um- Which, okay, that's gonna sound really backhanded. No, it, it- Well, more conversat- Well, it's not, it's not backhanded, it's forehanded. You just hit me. I'm sorry.
7:10
[laughs] Is it better that it's forehanded? I mean, I-- Li- listen, if you're gonna shoot me, I'd rather you shoot me in the front than the back, I guess. Yeah.
7:21
Be- okay, 'cause the reason I say this is I've seen you on, like, on Discord with, like... And when, as you say, we only win by seven or, God forbid, we lose. 'Cause for the most part I'm like,
7:37
well, everything's, you know. Mm-hmm. I- I've reached a point of, like, kind of mild acceptance with all of it. Right. Where it's like- I, I can tell you the time where I realized I had a problem.
7:51
I can actually pinpoint it. Okay. It was the Panth- it was the Panthers game this year- Okay... where we won by, we won by 40, and the entire time I was just like, "This fucking team.
8:01
I swear to God, if they call another fucking screen, I'm going to launch my beer at the wall." And we were up by 35 at that point, I think. Yeah. I don't- Yeah, just, yeah.
8:14
That was, that was when I realized I maybe have a problem. Am I gonna do anything about it? Probably not. I think I had, like, a moment of zen
8:23
at some point in my life where-- 'Cause with most of my teams now, there's, like, still some that I, I, I am not normal about.
8:30
Um, but even with, like, uh, like, the Mets, and the same with the Bills now, where it's like they're trying. Are they good at trying? No, not really. But they are, and I can't be mad about it, 'cause, like- Right.
8:41
So this has kind of- I've seen so much worse... this has kind of, uh, put me in an interesting position, um, even geographically.
8:49
Because growing up in Canada, and now Northern Ontario especially, um, listen, I'm a big hockey fan. I love the Red Wings. I love the Blue Jays in baseball.
8:59
No team makes me feel as insane as the Bills, and it's not a team I have any geographical connection to. It's not a sport that is f- that is very popular in my region.
9:10
Obviously the NFL is a, a behemoth, but it's still-- like, it's not as much of a behemoth as it is in other parts of the continent. I-- But for whatever reason, this team has sunk its claws into me in a way that
9:29
every single play causes me some sort of physical harm. And I think that's good, right? Like, that's, that's fine. Yeah. Especially a t- a team like this.
9:43
I, I, I remember the one time it did literally cause me physical harm was the 13 Seconds game, which was, uh, it was minus 60 out,
9:54
and I was so mad I walked outside and lied face down in the snow for like 20 minutes, and someone had to come drag me back inside. Please take better care of yourself. [laughs] No. [laughs] Please.
10:08
Look, well, if not for me, please do it for, like, your pets or, like, your partner- [laughs]... or for somebody. 'Cause your rabbits- Uh... are really, are really adorable, and I love, I love them.
10:18
Oh, I have terrible news about the rabbits, man. [laughs] Oh, no. I'm sorry. I, I, I got two very adorable cats too, and, and they're, they're-- I'll do it for them. Um- Okay... but yeah. So,
10:33
and the reason we're doing this now isn't just that you, uh, sent me a meme threatening my life. It is that- Well, it's n- there's no threat... I mean, it was-- the threat was implied. Okay.
10:46
Uh- Well, you know, you have to read into it. [laughs] A- a- and your honor, what I would say- [laughs] The other reason we're doing this now and not, not during the season, not three months ago, not a month from now,
11:02
is that this is an interesting time for the Bills. We are- Yes... entering the first year of Generalissimo Brady. Um, he has over-- he has, uh, he has couped-
11:13
The pig with the pig [laughs] Uh, he has couped Chairman McDermott, and now the Generalissimo is in. He-- This was the, the higher I was-- When we went down the coaching candidates-
11:31
Yeah... there were some I was excited for, there were some I was intrigued by, and, like, there, there was a handful where I was like, "Yeah, don't do that." Yeah. And then there was Brian Daboll- I-...
11:40
where I'm like, "Are you fucking kidding me?" No, Brian Daboll was in my don't do that. Oh yeah, of course. The Joe B- the Joe Brady hire, I, like--
11:49
I talked about-- Half this podcast so far has been about my poor mental health when it comes to this team. For my own sanity, I just said, "Well, they're not gonna do that.
11:58
I won't even, I won't even give any thought to it. Surely they won't." Yeah. And then [laughs] And then it comes out.
12:07
Yeah, the-- Oh, GodSo the, the palace intrigue with the Pegula family is l- I am so glad I'm not a Sabres fan. Oh, gotcha. Like, but they're gonna turn them into stick- You could be a Bandits fan, though. I could be.
12:23
And they have one. I'm, unfortunately I'm a Toronto Rock fan. Oh, okay. Um, but I- I'm not a diehard fan or anything. Yeah.
12:31
It's so funny that- I think I'll abandon lacrosse as like a, a kind of a vestige of my life that I, I'd never wanna think about again. Well, you may not know- 'Cause the last time I played it was like middle school.
12:39
[laughs] You may not know this about the NLL now then, the Toronto Rock play further away from Toronto than a different L- NLL team. Jesus Christ.
12:49
The Oshawa Firebirds play closer to the city of Toronto than the Toronto Rock do right now. [laughs] Okay, but didn't they use to play in the Air Canada Center? They did.
12:57
They moved to Hamilton but kept the name Toronto Rock. Oh my God. Oh, o- okay. Great, they did the fucking thing the NHL was gonna do. Well, I mean, the NHL was gonna- Is this what you want?...
13:09
put a team in Hamilton because the BlackBerry man is from Waterloo, where the vampires hang out. Niche Ontario reference. Um, but yeah, so this is an interesting turning point in the Bills' history. Yes.
13:25
And I think how the first five weeks of next season goes are going to determine how even we look back on the McDermott era.
13:38
'Cause as, as little as I respect Joe Brady and h- how much I'm saying, um, if you play fantasy football, take Khalil Shakir one-one 'cause that's his fucking boy, um, it, it-- there's a chance
13:53
where they just fucking figure it out. Like, there's a chance that, "Oh, shit, Sean was the problem," [laughs] and j- they just- Maybe... they just hit a switch. Yeah.
14:04
I'll, I'll make-- I'll go in my synthesis on this in a second. I, I would say the least-- I would say that's less likely- Yes...
14:12
than what I fear is going to happen, which is it's revealed Sean was the only thing holding the fucking thing together. Ironically for him, he was the only thing keeping the plane in the air. Um...
14:25
Oh, there was a thing about the plane today or yesterday actually. Did Joe Brady have his own 9/11 thing? [laughs] I wasn't even thinking of that. 'Cause that's what I was referring to. Oh, okay.
14:39
[laughs] No, it was, it was like some former player being like, "Why do the coaches get to sit in first class and the players don't?" But, but like, who cares? I think it was like John Feliciano. And you know what?
14:48
It's fucking... I don't know. Give him extra legroom at least. Do something. The, the, the assistant coaching hires I think are, are-- I see the vision. I see what they're going for, but I, I'm not bought in yet.
15:07
And I'd, I'd like to hear what you-- i- if you think I'm crazy for not buying in yet or... So here's the problem of, um, by my own hand, uh, making you start a football podcast with me, which is that my level of like
15:22
willingness to follow the NFL as like an entity year over year has mostly gone down.
15:28
And so I don't, uh, like assistant coach hiring is mostly like recruiting for me at this point, where I'm like, "I don't fucking know who any of these people are." Is Leslie Frazier still there? I don't know. Like,
15:39
so you could tell me anything. He isn't. They might work, they might not. Um, I, I guess my, like where I landed on the thing with McDermott is like, A, he's been there long enough that you can justify making a change.
15:54
You probably can justify making this one, but, um, knowing what we know about, um, our, our big wet oil boy who p- puts his money in the team really badly, uh, this was always the most likely outcome.
16:08
With that, he probably established like the kinda baseline level of like competency and seeming to mostly be a good coach with flaws, and then the flaws became too difficult to ignore and also the kind of,
16:27
the, the kind of worst effects of some missed opportunities leading to a point where it's like, yes, you do have to get rid of him. You also should've fired the general manager if you're gonna do this.
16:38
I, I also think the timing was really weird. Like, and I think I said this when it was announced, if they had done it three months ago, I would've got it.
16:47
If they had done it midway through next season, I would've got it.
16:50
The fact they did it when they did is con- is confounding to me, especially 'cause McDermott called a great game in the playoffs and his players let him down. Probably the only time that's ever happened, uh- Yeah...
17:00
in the, in the McDermott era. So th- the decision is not strange. The timing is exceptionally strange. And unfortunately, it did remind me of one thing, which is the fact that, uh, Terry Pegula is known
17:15
as not a big football fan. He's a huge hockey fan. This is known. Yeah. And what's also known is that when the Bills started turning a corner is when he was mainly leaving them to their own devices.
17:27
This was right after Doug Whaley got canned on the day of the draft. And- [laughs] Oh my God, th- we literally have like Rangers syndrome now.
17:36
Well, no, we have s- 'Cause it's just basically the same thing that happened to the Rangers. Sure, but we have Sabres syndrome, because what we have here- Well, yeah, yeah... is
17:44
the Sabres were kinda doing this for the longest time, where they would, they would go through one-year wonder coaches for a while because Pegula would get an itchy finger, and Pegula paid way more attention to the Sabres than he did to the Bills.
17:56
Now that the Bills are a money maker and good, he's paying a lot more attention to the Bills, which means he's gonna run them like the Sabres. Yes.
18:05
Folks, if you do not know how good the Sabres have been over the last decade, shield your eyes.Yeah, no, they're like, you know, they're in the playoff hunt this year.
18:14
That, that means that the last, like, 15 have also been good At least, at least, at least- That's how that works... do, at least do you know why they're in the playoff hunt this year? [laughs] No.
18:23
Because Pegula got distracted with the Bills and left them alone. No, that's fair. I was gonna say it's 'cause the Leafs are bad, and that, and that's funny to me. Th- so the Atlantic division's a fucking crap bucket.
18:34
[laughs] I'm sure you've seen the... There's like se- six or seven playoff teams in that 18 division, and it's really funny that- Fuck them, you bet. Fuck this game...
18:43
it's really funny that one of the teams that aren't a playoff team in that division are the Leafs. Oh, yeah. I love it. And the Pan- oh my God, the Panthers? Good. Good. Fuck them.
18:52
[laughs] But the Rangers are last, and that, that's good. It's where they deserve to be. I don't think we've covered that you are an Islanders fan. I think that's close, so we should probably get there. Oh, no.
19:04
Yeah, we should cover that. I, I am an Islanders fan. Um, again, just kind of because, 'cause like, okay, so my dad grew up, like,
19:12
a 10-minute drive from Nassau Coliseum and went to, like, two game, two Islanders games as a kid. Like, nobody in my family, like, cared about sports until me,
19:21
and d- and I guess, like, they both like, both my parents kind of like tennis, but, like, not enough to be, like, actively interested, and then, like, th- the Olympics or whatever.
19:32
But basically all my sports fandoms are just kind of stochastic. Like, I just do what I want, which is how I ended up being a Memphis Grizzlies fan for like five years, and then I just kind of stopped liking them. Um,
19:45
so anyway, yeah, no, fuck the Rangers. No, this is funny to me. Um, which is kind of why I was, like, making the r- um, the joke about the Rangers before, 'cause they had a very similar thing where
19:58
James Dolan, who owns them and the Knicks, would basically focus on the Knicks way too much because the Knicks are probably making way more money. Yeah. He di- he didn't make any blues songs about the Rangers.
20:10
No, but oh, God, could you imagine? Um, and then the Rangers started getting good, and then he got more invested, and now they're...
20:17
They've had like two public letters to their fans in the last, like, five years being like, "Yeah, we're sorry. We're gonna rebuild," and then it's just gotten worse.
20:25
Yeah, but they have so many players on the US Olympic team, so they must be good. Oh, God. Yeah. Remember those, like, top five picks they kept getting? Wonder what happened to any of them. So I think- It was like 10...
20:40
I think the, what, what this all boils down to though is, is Brandon Beane gonna meaningfully change his player acquisition? And I f- and obviously- No... uh, well, yes. Correct.
20:51
[laughs] But the, obviously the, the big place where we're gonna see that is the draft coming up. Yeah. And there's been some noise about what the Bills are gonna do at the draft.
21:04
I do think it's kind of insane if they, if they don't go defense. But man, the wide receivers were terrible this year. Yeah.
21:14
And Brandon Beane famously was a little bit of a piss baby about the fact that the wide receivers were bad this year. Yeah. Well, it's funny, 'cause they, like, drafted a guy like... Oh, wait. [laughs] Yeah.
21:32
Ju- justice, justice for Keon Coleman, man. Actually, well, no, no, that sounds worse than it is, but you know what I mean. I mean, he...
21:40
Keon Coleman was so off and on this year, where I'm just thinking like, "Man, it's gonna suck when he's a change of scenery candidate and just goes off for, like, the fucking Broncos or something." Yeah. But yeah.
21:57
I- So th- they haven't hit on an early round pick in Beane's tenure basically at all. Yeah. And Oliver is, like, the only one. Yeah. So I, I really want them to
22:16
... The other thing that, that they're gonna have to do is meaningfully play a part in free agency that isn't just chasing stars,
22:26
'cause that was sort of the problem last year where, where, and this was actually a part of that interview where he talked about the wide receivers. He said, "Well, I fixed the defense. I brought in Joey Bosa."
22:36
Okay, but our fucking best safety is still a literal zombie. Like- Yeah... maybe we need to worry about that first. Maybe we need to build before we rebuild. Yeah. 'Cause there, there's nothing to tear down.
22:54
The shit's torn. We've got James Cook, Dion Dawkins, and the fucking golden retriever. That's- Yeah, but we love them. Well, we love all of them. Of course. But-
23:06
Oh, yeah, this is where I'm gonna, I'm gonna unleash my Josh Allen pick. Three teams do, do- Like, don't worry, it's not bad... three teams does not a team make. That's all. And
23:15
or, sorry, three players does not a team make, and- Yeah... Brandon Beane's solution to that was, "Well, how about a fourth player?" instead of actually building a roster.
23:24
A fourth player who's also, like, old and very injured, like a lot. Yeah, it wa- it was, it was Von Miller- He's also Joey B-... and then it was Joey Bosa. Yeah.
23:35
Um Like, Von Miller was so bad that they were th- they were thinking of fucking cap dumping him at the end. Yeah. Anyway, all right. I, I am seated. I'm prepared. I need to hear your Josh Allen take. Okay.
23:51
It, it, it's basically just, again, a lot of what's gonna come across from, [laughs] from the things I say is, boy, she's got a lot of apathy, and I do. Um, which is
24:03
I can never have it in me for the rest of my life to care about any quarterback again, because I now don't have to, because our, our big stupid boy won.He's good.
24:20
Everyone said he was probably not gonna be good. Every, uh, a bunch of other teams have made themselves crazy trying to replicate this. [laughs] But they're not my team. I don't care.
24:32
I never have to think about this again. 'Cause, like, eventually, uh, you know, obviously he's gonna retire. It- hopefully he only ever plays games as a Bill. I think it would be kinda sad if he goes anywhere else.
24:43
I'd be very sad. I don't know why I said kinda. But it's great because, uh, you know, writ large, NFL discourse is, like, is basically just lighted gasoline. [laughs] Which is why I don't...
25:00
I, I, I can't do it. Um, but, you know, all the stuff about quarterbacks or whatever, and it's like, "Nope, don't care." I wouldn't--
25:09
And it, like, not even, like, in context of, like, previous Bills quarterbacks, 'cause I'm not old enough to remember, like, I don't know, JP Losman or whatever.
25:19
Like, again, like, my kind of entry point was, like, Philip Orton, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and, uh, Tyrod Taylor, who I, who I disrespected at the time. And I look back on and say, "Should have respected him more."
25:31
S- so I, I, I will say that I have two garbage takes that I ha- that from that draft where we took Josh Allen, which was, A, I wanted us to take Josh Rosen. Uh-oh.
25:45
[laughs] I was very, I was very upset when we took Josh Allen, 'cause I really wanted us to take Josh Rosen. And B- Okay, that, that's class traitorship right there. You wanted to take the NBA guy over,
25:58
over our, our, our big cantaloupe farming boy. Listen- [laughs]... sometimes the man just looks like a quarterback.
26:09
Anyways, uh, the other thing I thought was if we didn't take Josh Rosen, I didn't want us to take a quarterback at all, because I thought Tyrod Taylor was a superstar quality quarterback that was just waiting for his breakout year.
26:23
And to be honest, I still kinda think that. I know I still kinda think that.
26:28
So I- that is all to say, like, when we get, when we run up to the draft and I start going like, "Well, if the, if the Bills don't take this game-changing edge rusher, they're fucked," know that I, I have a very bad track record with draft picks.
26:42
Um, I also thought Keon Coleman was gonna be a perennial Pro Bowler. That hasn't panned out. He's still fine. So, uh, oh, and last y- this, this most recent year, I thought, um,
27:00
Taylor El-Ghasra was gonna be, like, the breakout, and he didn't even make a roster. He, he had a great preseason with Green Bay, and then just he didn't even make a practice squad the rest of the year.
27:12
[laughs] Oh, yeah. So again, this is my thing where I'm like recruiting and the-- I, I'm really underequipped to be on a football podcast, come to think of it. Good thing we started anyway. I'm like, that's not me, no.
27:22
But yeah, free agency and all the rest, like, I, I gotta look. I just look at the game and go, you know, it's, it's... You can't see, I'm gesticulating at, at my face. This, this isn't a ball knowers podcast.
27:35
What this is is a mental health podcast. I wish I, I, I knew fewer balls. This is a mental health podcast disguised as a Buffalo Bills fandom podcast. And- Yeah, we're, we're here to have fun... what this is going to be,
27:50
what this show is going to look like isn't, "Here is what the roster is going to look like. Here's what the 53-man should be. Here's how they should scheme up."
27:59
It's not going to be, "Here's a film breakdown of how they lost that game." What it is going to be is, uh, two friends consoling each other from this team that is very poor for their mental health,
28:11
uh, and letting you guys hear the results of it. And what this is right now, what this discussion is, is after about a month or so of already getting a lot of shit out about Joe Brady. [laughs] The man with the- Okay...
28:27
worst haircut in the game, and that game includes several coaches who don't know what a haircut is, and they just walk into Scissors. Yeah.
28:37
I, okay, so I abhor, like, sports gambling as a concept, and we can get into that at some other point. But just as, like, a, a, a prop bet in which there is no money and basically no law. How many times
28:51
is somebody going to post the picture of the pig with a fade that Victoria's Ellen keeps posting about Joe Brady in the next, I guess, 12 months? I think there's a good chance that it is posted
29:07
30 times a game, because that is how many times Joe Brady with the reins unleashed is gonna call a tunnel screen to Khalil Shakir. And do you know what? F- 15 of those will pop,
29:18
and the other 15 will go for negative yards. [sighs] The Bills are very good at running screens. The problem is they run a lot of them, and they're all the same screen. It's all fucking bubble screens to Khalil Shakir.
29:34
I, yeah. Okay, 'cause, like, what if you made the whole boat out of screen passes is, like, a funny concept. It's just not funny when you have the, the, the quarterback who can do more than that.
29:44
Yeah, e- uh, if you look back at all of, uh, Josh's top plays from this year, it was imp- it was improvising. Remember that, um, Tyrell Shavers game where he went off for, like, three touchdowns or whatever? Yes.
29:59
I don't think a single one of those plays was schemed up for Shavers. [laughs] I think every time Josh had to go off script and find him. That sounds right to me.
30:13
Same with the, the fucking Jackson Hawes, uh, play in week one,
30:18
uh, against the Ravens, where Hawes is out there literally as a downfield blocker, and then-Who's never caught a pass in his NFL life and only caught, like, seven in college, and Josh just fucking nails him on the one-yard line.
30:35
They showed that on TV? I, I'm surprised they're- Yes. I'm surprised too. Oh, God. It's the- I was with it... it's, they, the, the play call is the ludicrous. I see what it is.
30:54
Although, to be fair, that's usually a fake field goal. Hmm. Uh, so this- I'm learning so much. [laughs] This season- [laughs]... is going to be an interest- uh, and especially if we keep doing this show,
31:09
is going to be an interesting way to track our, kind of, sentiment on the Joe Brady regime because I would say- Right. It's five sessions every week. Yeah. This, this is a struggle session, um- [laughs]... is what it is.
31:26
And I would say the vibes are not great [laughs] to start off. I, this is maybe the least sauce I've seen an NFL coaching hire have since, I don't know, Adam Gase. Still in the league, as it turns out. Is he?
31:42
Uh, I think he got rehired somewhere, or I might think it was somebody else. Um, did he go to the Chargers? That does track.
31:53
Um, my favorite Adam Gase moment from his, uh, coaching career was when the, the Jets were like 0 and 10 and, uh, they had, they had a, like, a two-point lead with five seconds left
32:06
and abl- allegedly, Adam Gase just took the headset off to go check on someone in the injury tent instead of calling the last play. Oh, my God.
32:13
So the defensive coordinator just, the defense coordinators went, "Uh, zero blitz," and they let- [laughs]... they let a touchdown. [laughs] Ah, that's beautiful. Um, so yeah, he did get hired by, by the Chargers.
32:25
Um, assistant coach- Yeah... overseeing the passing game, so I guess... Uh, he can't even be, like, a good hang coach 'cause he hasn't been in the league for five years. So y- does, does Mike McDonald just like him?
32:37
Justin Herbert under Adam Gase. Listen, okay, we gotta talk about this. We are extremely lucky as Bills fans. We have to admit that. Yes. Because we don't have to deal with Justin Herbert under Adam Gase.
32:53
We do have to deal with Josh Allen under Joe Brady, which is like putting handcuffs on Goliath. Yes.
32:59
But I, I would say the person having the worst mental health time in the NFL right now is probably Justin Herbert on the Chargers. That man needs out. Yeah.
33:09
I thank God he's, like, somewhere that they at least get, like, sunshine. Oh, yeah. If, if, if this was happening- Can you imagine, like, seasonal effect of Justin Herbert?
33:16
Man, if this was happening in Green Bay, he would either turn into- [laughs]... the greatest quarterback of all time, or he would have retired by now. Yes.
33:32
Th- that last playoff game with the Chargers was so-- or not playoff game, sorry.
33:36
One of the last regular season games I was watching was so crazy to watch Herbert because there was a switch that was flipped in, like, the third quarter where he realized, "I don't trust my linemen and I don't trust my receivers,
33:48
so I'm gonna have to do this all myself. Fuck it." And then he started throwing, like, a million interceptions. Yeah. And to be honest- It, it ha-... that also kind of happened to Drake May in the Super Bowl.
34:01
Yeah, but it's good when that happens. That's funny. Yes. Um- And to be fair, the Bills' schedule this season is fucking awful. Like, it's, it's, it's really strong.
34:15
E- everyone el- we, we got a second place schedule for, for, for the first time in years, and it just so happens that all the good teams also got second place schedules.
34:23
But the Patriots have an even harder schedule, and that's funny. Yes. Um- The Dolphins are gonna be dog shit, and so are, so are the Jets. So, like- Oh, I'm so happy with the Dolphins every game...
34:31
we're probably still gonna be in a contention for the division. 'Cause, like, the Dol- uh, okay. It's not like I interact with a lot of Dolphins fans, but the one Dolphins fan I know,
34:45
you know, is feeling it may be a little too much relative to the Dolphins' actual level of success. [laughs] Friend of the show who we love. Uh, now I- But you know who you are. I have a question for you. Yeah.
35:01
You do follow a bit of college football. I have, uh, approximately a million, uh, schools that I have some kind of relation to. Mm-hmm. Uh, so yes. So the Dolphins' pick, I believe their first pick is the 37th. Okay.
35:20
What quarterback are they getting to start the season with next year? Oh. See, now this is the problem because quarterbacks are moving around so much that I don't know who's where and doing what. Um-
35:38
'Cause, like- For fun- They can't, they can't run a back-... let's say Diego Otavia. That's fun. 'Cause they can't run a back with Tua, right? They can, and I think they're gonna try, but they shouldn't.
35:50
For, uh, like, literally everybody involved, they shouldn't. I mean, [laughs] unless you wanna give Quinny-- Quinn Ewers a full year. Oh, okay. Okay, so I, uh, yeah, let's talk myself. Why not?
36:08
As somebody who goes to University of Texas, I g- I don't care about Quinn Ewers. Well, it's 'cause you're- If you're- It's 'cause you're- Stop...
36:16
it's 'cause you're the biggest Arch Manning girl in the entire, on the entire campus. I'm not even the biggest Arch Manning girl in the server that this podcast spawned out of.
36:25
[laughs] Again, friend of the show who we love. [laughs] Um-But no, that's, uh...
36:36
God, that's the other thing is, like, I tell people I go here, and they're like, "Oh, like, the Hook 'em or whatever," and I'm like, "I, I actually went to undergrad at a, at a, another Big 12 school," so maybe not.
36:45
[laughs] Um- Uh, none of-- The school I w- I went to did not have football, so I, I have no affiliation. Yeah. Um- So they, they were too busy playing school. Uh- [laughs]
37:05
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. Um, but no. So
37:14
when you look around the AFC East, it is hard not to, like, d- despite how bad the Bills were that, like, at the end of this year, how rough the defense looked, how rough the wide receiving corps looked, and how uninspiring the h- the new head coach is, how uninspiring the GM is,
37:32
it is really hard not to go, "I bet they're gonna win the division." Yeah, which is... Because the other thing is it's not wrong. 'Cause the, the Patriots...
37:51
I am fully ready for this to be delusional Bills fan talk. I don't think the Patriots can do that again. I don't think so either.
38:06
Based on nothing other than vibes, I'm just, I'm just gonna say, like, regression candidate. Because what do you mean you went 14 and three in, like, two years?
38:15
I mean, it, it-- yeah, it's like what the Commanders did last year. It's just- Yeah... I-- They were th- they were a year early, and that usually doesn't go well, 'cause now you gotta face a first-place schedule.
38:25
You don't have a high draft pick. And I mean, Drake May might've been broken by that Super Bowl, literally and spiritually. Yeah.
38:35
And there's gonna be the inevitable giving too much money to somebody who, like, you might not have otherwise if you went, like, 12 and five and lost in the divisional round but, like, still feel good about it. Yeah.
38:51
So that'll be fun, um- Yeah... because the Jets aren't gonna be good because they're the Jets, and the Dolphins are tearing it all up.
38:59
So you look around at the division and think nine wins could probably get the job done, and you can find nine wins on the Bills' schedule easily. Yeah. So not really sure what else we're doing here.
39:16
[laughs] Like, and, and that's the thing is the Bills coming up this year. Let me, let me run back what, what their schedule is, and you tell me if you s- how many automatic losses you see.
39:31
Even if they have a worst-case scenario off-season, they don't bring any new big free agents in. I'm gonna run through their 2026 opponents, and you tell me- All right. Let's do it...
39:42
and you tell me how many losses you see. Miami twice. Two wins. New England twice. I'm gonna say one and one. Jets twice. Two wins. Chiefs at home.
40:01
Uh, depends on, I guess, how early in the season. That has not been announced yet, unfortunately. Okay. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave that one toss-up. Rams on the road.
40:18
Probably a loss if I'm, if I'm being honest. We get the one win that shouldn't happen every year. Like, again, we opened last year with beating the, the Ravens in a game- Mm-hmm...
40:28
that, like, again, really should've just been, like... Well, s-speaking of, we get the Ravens again. Uh, that'll be at home this time. Win. Uh, Texans on the road. Loss. Vikings on the road. Win.
40:47
Uh, Chargers at home. That one's the loss that's gonna make everyone spiral. Uh, I don't, I don't know, 'cause I was, I was looking at it this one. Bears at home. Win. Lions at home.
41:07
Loss. Broncos on the road. I'm gonna say win. Packers on the road. Um,
41:27
I'm gonna say loss. Vikings on the road. Did you already say that one? If I did, then the, then the last one is Raiders on the road. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, we're gonna beat the Raiders.
41:40
So what you've just given me is 11 and six. And that's- Okay. And that's assuming the toss-up goes the other way. Yeah. And that's with making no major changes.
41:53
I don't think that's necessarily a sign of the Bills being good. It's a sign of, "Oh my God, we get to play the AFC East and the m- NFC North next year." Yeah. And, and, and we get the Raiders who, I mean,
42:11
I think the Raiders will bounce back a little bit, but you can only do so much in one year. Plus they're the Raiders. Yes, that's true. If anything is, like, immune to bouncing back, it's the Raiders.
42:20
We get both LA teams, and that's probably the hardest part of the schedule. Um- Yeah. Chargers at home, Rams on the road, and I would say that's the m- that's the way you don't want it. You'd prefer it the other way.
42:32
You'd prefer Rams at home, Chargers on the road for sure.But, I mean, the, the Chargers are gonna be such an interesting look at the start of next year 'cause if Herbert's just broken, that's a win.
42:45
Es- especially with, uh, Mike McDonald on the other sideline, or Mike Daniels, sorry. [laughs] Um, Texans is another one where if, if they're just broken, which they might be from that playoff loss,
43:05
that turns into a nice looking game. And then Chiefs and Ravens are the other two that- Yeah... are, like, depending on how they come into the season, that game is either a great win that, on the schedule or
43:23
Joe Brady's first little you might not be the guy moments. And the thing is, now that Pagula is paying attention, is that the coaches are now on a much shorter leash [laughs] Yeah.
43:33
'Cause the Sabres used to go through coaches like fucking outfits. Didn't they bring some... Again, I have followed every sport so much less than I used to when I was 12.
43:46
Being 12 was terrible, but I really underestimated how much I got to actually, like, follow leagues. But I don't do that as much anymore. So ju- ju- just to give you like a, a glimpse of, of your future.
44:01
Lindy Ruff was the head coach- [laughs] You're three years older than me. A glimpse into your future as, as a Bills fan. Oh, okay. The Sabres had, uh, Lin- they, pre-Pagula, had Lindy Ruff from 1997 to 2013.
44:17
He was, he is the winning ex- winningest coach in franchise history, and he led them to several playoff appearances. In 2013, they hired Ron Rolston, who was fired.
44:30
Then they hi- then i- in 2013 still, they hired Ted Nolan, who lasted two years and was fired. Then they hired Dan Bylsma from the Penguins, who lasted two years and was fired. Then they hired Phil Housley,
44:47
who lasted two years and was fired. Then they hired Ralph Krueger, who lasted two years and was fired. Then they hired Don Granato, who lasted three years and was fired. And now they brought- Three whole years...
44:58
and now they've brought back Lindy Ruff. So that's what a coaching staff looks like when Terry Pegula is paying attention. Sean McDermott has been fired.
45:15
I don't know how much leash Joe Brady is gonna have, especially if it's him or Brandon Beane, and I think it, he's made it clear that Brandon Beane is not gonna be let go. Oh, yeah.
45:28
Brandon Beane is in like the Vizier chat secret. [laughs] Which Joe Brady is in, is just in like the regular Vizier chat. Mm-hmm.
45:44
I should note, Ted No- Ted Nolan, who was hired in 2013 by the way, was the coach before Lindy Ruff, and he only lasted two years.
45:52
So I mean, also the call your ex F- FC thing, which the Bills like to do, they did do that twice. Yeah. Well, Elise- I can't believe it's gonna be another 45 minutes...
46:08
this was productive for me, I think, to get a lot of emotions out. That's good. Thank you for being my therapist here. Uh, you're welcome. Um, so do we do like Venmo or like what's going on here?
46:23
[laughs] Uh, no, you get paid by my government. It's single payer up here, baby. Oh, okay. Um, yeah, please tell the University of Toronto to like accept my application or, or somebody. I don't really care who.
46:36
I, I inter- I interviewed someone from Lakehead University t- uh, next week. I can, I can slip that in there- I call that... if, if you, if you wanna get some Lakehead.
46:47
Look, at this point it, it's, it's not in the United States, which would be like pretty cool. The, the great city of Thunder Bay, Ontario, as long as ice doesn't invade from Minnesota, we're good. You know?
47:07
The, the h- Yeah, I got, I got nothing there... the home of the Thunder Wolves, which is a sick nickname. Yeah, I think that should just called Jolteon, but you know, you tell me. Nerd. Oh, okay. Got your ass.
47:22
Okay, I'm the nerd. Torched, roasted, boom. Boom, yeah. The, the Vine boom GIF or GIF, fucking- GIF. Everyone point and laugh at Elise. I, I literally did put my head back in my chair there.
47:39
[laughs] All right. Well, that, that's all staying in mostly because I don't know how to edit. Um- That's good... gonna do like a big how do I rotate text meme when I, when I look at this.
47:52
Anything else you wanna talk about before we get out of here? Um, I, I, you know, we probably like hit most of the major points. Um, so what I will say instead is, um, [smacks lips] let's go Mets baby.
48:06
It's all about the Mets. No, I do not endorse. [laughs] [sighs] All right. That was fun. Yeah. It's pretty good. Uh, see us next time- We, we d-...
48:23
in, uh, either two weeks or like six months. We didn't get to shit posting hour, which was on our agenda unfortunately. I was gonna say, you w- actually did a pretty reasonable job of like...
48:33
I realized like halfway through, I'm like, "Oh, you're like being a host." [laughs] You're like trying to keep me on trackWell, I, I honestly- Um, I would say shitposting hour was kind of eternal...
48:42
I, I was waiting for you to take us to shitposting hour, to be quite honest. Oh, okay. That works. [laughs] Yeah, shitposting hour is kind of like how I say Femcel Friday is like every day.
48:53
Like, it's just kind of always shitposting. It's, it's a state of mind. Yeah. It's like a- You have to have a shitposting mindset. Yeah. You n- y- if you haven't lived in these minds, you, you wouldn't understand. Yeah.
49:10
I like how neither of us know how to end a show, so this just kinda kept going. No, that's fine. Well, on that we may as well end. Uh, yeah, I don't know. Um- Great stream... stream- Great stuff...
49:26
stre- yeah, I can't even think of, like, a funny way to say stream I mean, what's, what, what's, what's your Bluesky? Where, where can they follow you on Bluesky?
49:32
Oh, they can follow me at puddlesposting.bsky.social, where I post, like, once a month now. And honestly, most of the riffs I do I, like, don't wanna repeat in polite society. Not 'cause they're, like, terrible.
49:44
It's just 'cause it's like, w- I, I... If I had to explain this joke, 'cause it's, like, pretty, [laughs] pretty bad. I, I am @jlangan76 on Bluesky, and what has been fun is I have...
49:56
Bluesky is not mainstream enough that I've had to separate my posting from my actual day job reporting.
50:03
So every now and then you'll see, uh, a actual news post which is about, like, a, a First Nations community around Thunder Bay area, and right next to it you'll see, uh, a post that just says,
50:17
uh, "You're a, you're a show pony, not a tell pony. Get back on the fucking swing set." So, you know, follow me there for riffs and also hard news from the city of Thunder Bay, Ontario.
50:36
And, uh, follow Post No Bills on Bluesky, which I, I am now committing to making one. Oh, okay. Okay. One of us is gonna do it. It, it probably will be you. [laughs] All right.
50:48
And- Like, one of my recent posts was, was Geico Duke Nukem saying, "Those alien bastards helped me save money on car insurance." That's not funny, but those are the kind of posts you can expect.
50:59
End the show right there. That's where you cut it. [laughs]
Post No Bills
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Recent episodes
Post No Bills Episode 3: (Free Agency) Breakdowns
Mar 14, 2026
Post No Bills Episode 2: With Apologies To Mark Kennedy
Feb 25, 2026
